I sent this email to my sisters. I wanted to share it with my friends that have access to my blog as well. I have not posted in months and thought it might be worthy of a post. Enjoy, I hope and feel free to leave comments.
Email sent: 12-12-2010
I wanted to take a picture of me today after church because I thought and felt so good in the dress and cloths I was wearing. Funny how you look in the mirror and then a picture tells a different story. But this email isn't about critical body image silliness. It's about my sisters. See I have a story to tell that I think is pretty amazing and cool. But I don't want to bore you all have busy lives, I know. So print this email and read it when you go potty or something..lol
Once upon a time there was a beautiful big sister named Ganel-lyn. She had amazing fashion sense, thought here little sister Meggan. Meggan was forever sneaking her sisters cloths out of her draws as a young girl. Though her sister was always a size smaller, Meggan still managed to wear most of her cloths as a teenager. She drove her sister mad with her stealing and not putting back. Oh how her big sister begged her to leave her cloths alone, or at least ask first before "borrowing". The big sister, Ganel, grew up and moved away, taking her closet of cloths with her. Meggan was left to try and struggle on in her own clumsy way. But something changed, her body. Meggan slowly gained more and more weight each year after her sister moved away. Meggan had other younger sisters then her. Carmel, Amy, Shevaun, and Stacie, were all Meggan's little sisters. They all had their own personalities that she loved to see change and grow with them. Meggan was always searching for who she was in this world and was always led by looking to her sisters for that first place to start. She would ask herself all the time, "They are so different, who am I suppose to be? What will I be when I finally grow up? How can I relate to them as I keep changing through the years?"
Meggan found she could no longer relate to her sisters on just physical sameness. Since she was gaining weight and changing so much she no longer looked like them any more. But they always loved her. They always tried to be there for her to show they accepted Meggan even when she did not accept herself. But Meggan moved further away from her sisters thinking it would be less painful to isolate her self from them. But never a year went by that her sisters did not reach out to her to say they loved her in some way. It always helped to Meggan to remember that she was never really lost, as long as someone out there was thinking of her like her beloved sisters.
Years passed. A lot of years, like 10 years passed and the Big sister Ganel came to visit. She found a solution to her food problem and shared that with Meggan as it might be a solution as well for her. A year went by as her big sister walked the walk and visited Meggan a lot that year. One time Meggan saw Ganel wear this dress. It was so cute and Meggan just loved it! Never in her wildest dreams did she ever consider or hope to wear anything like it some day. She just knew there was no hope for her to change. But her big sister never close door on her and Meggan finally found her way to the solution.
Now a year and some months later Meggan spends a Thanksgiving with her sisters that month. Thanksgiving started with a 30th birthday visit with Carmel. There Meggan was chatting about cloths, going thru shoes, and generally acting like she use to when she was a teenager. But it was so much sweeter this time around, because she could feel how lucky she was to have a sister like Carmel. Willing to give her all the cloths and shoes she could not use anymore. A blessing while Meggan moves through a very uncertain life right now. Then sister Stacie came to visit California from Texas. Sister Amy was there and Meggan thought she would share all the shoes and clothes she got from Carmel. Just in case while Meggan waits to shrink more these sisters could use anything. She wanted to include these sisters in the generosity of Carmel.
The kitchen was filled with laughter as all three Sisters held up cloths and oohed and awwed over them. Some were passed around. Then Stacie and Amy brought there own bag to the table and said, "These are some of the cloths Ganel gave us." Meggan's eyes lit up! Big sister Ganel-lyn will always hold that fashion spot in her heart and she couldn't wait to see what Amy had in her bag. Sweaters were brought out. Shirts, skirts all shared and asked the same questions to the sisters at the table. The same phrase was repeated over and over by Meggan, Amy, Stacie "Do you want this? Could you use this? Do you like this? Carmel has great shoes? No you take it, are you sure, ok I'll keep it."
Then it happened that same cute wonderful dress that Big sister Ganel wore on one of her visits here to California was in the bag and came out for the table to see. Meggan ooooed and gushed that she loved that dress. But she just new it would not fit her yet. But her sisters said keep it. Weeks later Meggan shares that the dress fits her with Carmel but she needs an undershirt to wear with it. There Carmel is in the store finding the perfect shirt to wear and here Meggan is writing a silly long story that could of been just avoided.
But that's not the Killough way. I love my sisters to much to not try and express how much this means to me. I attached a picture. Everyone just went on and on about how great they thought I looked in the dress. Never thought I'd ever be wearing my big sisters loving hand me downs again. But here I am today crying and saying how grateful I am for this victory. A victory that was given to me by my Heavenly Father and Savior, Jesus Christ. I feel blessed. I feel the miracles in my life. I just wanted to share it with all of you.
I love you all so very much!
