MORNING PROGRAM GIVES ME A CHANCE

I wanted to share what I do most every single morning, with very little variation. These are the tools I do to help me recover from my addicitons. Yes I said addiction's. I have more then one major addiction. Food is the primary one, but I use my program to recover from all of them.

My mornings go like this: I hit my knees and thank Father in Heaven for an abstinent day. Abstinence is defined by the avoidance of individual binge foods.  Weighing and measuring all my food give me abstinence in the quantity of food I eat and I abstain from ALL flour and sugar.  Having nothing in between my three committed meals. I thank Heavenly Father for my abstinent sleep, which is what I pray for before I go to bed. I have to ask for help and protection from Satan's temptations while I am unconscious sleeping, before I go to bed. The reason being, there is a 98% chance I will have dreams that center around the cravings of both my addictions.  When I pray for protection before I sleep it is a 100% given, every time.

I rise from my knees and then go to my chair to read the Book of Mormon. I read for as long as one chapter and as short as one verse. I write in my journal least 5 persons, places, or things I am currently GRATEFUL to my Heavenly Father for giving me.  This is what I call my GRATEFUL LIST.

If I have enough time to write down some of the fears I might be having.  Today that was about Step 1-We admitted that we were powerless over food-that our lives had become unmanageable .  Last night at my closed 12 step study group I realized that my disease is much scarier then I ever knew.  The cunningness of the lies my mind, which is where my addictions live, can actually seem like rational truth to me.  I came to believe I was powerless over Food 7 months ago, but last night it accured to me there was another level of understanding I had not yet gained. That I am truly scared of the power and effect of my Food Addiction to the point of doubting my own abstinence for the past 7 months. I have let most of this go now, but it was a weird out of body experience.

I read from the wonderfully powerful TWENTY-FOUR HOURS A DAY book. I have one of these books that are a journal and everyday there is a Thought, a Meditation, and a Prayer. I answer the daily question and write about my thoughts when I read this inspiring message.

After this I set my timer for 30 minutes.  I sit in my chair praying silently, deep breathing, and asking to know Father in Heavens will for me that day. This is my Quiet Time. The time I have set aside to improve my connections with the divine, the holy spirit, my Savior, and Heavenly Father.  When the time is up I call my sponsor. The night before I have written down and committed my food to Heavenly Father.  I call my sponsor  and commit my food to her for that day as well. I love the level of accountability.  I share for 15 minutes how I am feeling and what my day was like the day prior.

This is the daily process that I call morning program. These were the missing tools and answers I have been looking for all my life. This is how I am seeking forgiveness and change in my life, just for today.